Dear guy who shuts off the lights while I’m shitting,

Why do you do what you do? Are you so oblivious to the fact that there is someone else in the bathroom? How do you not notice that I am there? There is 1 urinal and directly next to it there is me in the only stall taking a shit. Do you not notice my feet lurking at the bottom of the stall? The bathroom is the size of a small walk in closet. Who is that numb-minded to not sense someone else in a 7 square foot bathroom?

I see you strutting around the bathroom in your brown loafers like you own the place. Guess what? You’re not George Costanza! You don't have your own personal bathroom where you can shut off the lights whenever you please.

Do you have any idea what it feels like to wipe your ass in complete darkness? I mean what if someone walked in? What would they think when they hear someone in the stall fidgeting in complete darkness?

It is the middle of the day. Many people are going to be occupying this bathroom after you, including me currently. Will it save power? Are you concerned about the electric bill of the building owner? What is it?

You take at least 30 seconds to start pissing every time you come in to the bathroom! People do this when they know other people are in the bathroom listening to them piss! If you honestly don't think anyone is there, why do you take so long to piss? Are you saying you have trouble peeing while alone? If so I will tell everyone in the building about your little problem, and everyone will laugh at you and call you stupid, and I will rejoice... That is once I find out who you are...

I hate you! And I hate everything about you! I don't know what office you’re from in the building, but I will find out, and I will shut off the lights to whatever room you are currently occupying.

- The Guy Taking a Shit