Home






  

Picture Analyzation: Guy In Diapers

Every now and again I will analyze a different picture and tell you exactly(In my opinion) how this picture came about.

Meet Stewart:



Stewart never had a chance in this world.

Stewart is an only child who was adopted by a single overweight black lady by the name of Oleta. Let’s start off with Oleta. Oleta never had a boyfriend, nor has she ever gotten laid. She adopted Stewart out of spite for the world that hated her. Oleta never learned how to take care of a child; she usually did whatever felt best at the time. For example, when Stewart turned two Oleta got glasses for him that she found in the lost and found at Denny's. Even though Stewart had no need for glasses, Oleta made him wear them anyway, forcing Stewarts eyes to adjust to the glasses making his eyes worse.

Oleta never taught Stewart how to use the toilet, she figured, once he's ready he will figure it out for himself. Seeing how Oleta never put Stewart into school, he never learned how to use the toilet, nor did he ever learn much of anything. Stewart wasn't born retarded, but around the age of 13 he slowly, and gradually became retarded from lack of school, nourishment, physical and mental activities, and friends. Stewart was a mute from the ages of 19 to 22 from a situation involving Oleta, and a Richard Simmons blow up doll.

Oleta never bought clothing for Stewart, but rather diapers and sheets that she would rap him in. Oleta gave Stewart a bath once every other Thursday night when she got home from bingo. When it came time for a haircut for Stewart, Oleta would just grab a pair of scissors from the kitchen drawer, put a bowl over Stewarts head and trim around the bowl, she would then put the bowl down and pour Stewart a bowl of Wheat Thins.

The picture you are looking at is Stewart at the age of 38 on a ‘Time-Out’ for interrupting Oleta while watching Opera. Like I said… Stewart never had a chance in this world. He grew up in diapers, thick glasses, and bowl cut, he will go trough his midlife crisis in diapers, thick glasses, and a bowl cut, and he will die in diapers, thick glasses, and a bowl cut.